Written by Beth Chikobe

If your social media feeds are much like mine, scrolling over the past week has given you dozens of different perspectives on starting the new year. And yet for those of us who are moms–we know not much of our daily routine will change just because we’ve moved from the last week of December into the first of January. There will still be early mornings squeezing in a workout or a few emails before the kids wake up; nap times deciding between rest for yourself or folding that load of laundry; afternoon walks to the park while listening in on a Zoom call for work. Whatever your specific circumstances, the day to day of motherhood can be quite mundane. We do the same things over and over again. A new year won’t change that, but we can tweak our perspective on the things that often feel monotonous. 

I love to cook. Over the past 10 months of COVID keeping my family at home, however, it feels like I have been on a never-ending loop of meal planning, grocery shopping, and breakfasts/lunches/dinners + lots of snacks in between. I had to figure out ways to keep up and not lose my mind. Somewhat by accident, I realized I could save energy by building into our week specific meal nights–Friday night pizza, Saturday morning biscuits, Monday night salads, and Taco Tuesdays. Bam! Four meals per week (+ leftovers) decided. As I built in these meal nights, I realized they actually provided more than just four less meals to plan. They became rituals that helped to create a rhythm for our family. While there was so much we still couldn’t control day by day, this rhythm carved out moments for us to reset and get back in sync with one another. Friday night pizza became our collective deep breath to start the weekend. Monday night salads became our energizer for another busy week ahead. The mundane became meaningful.

I’ve come to understand how much these rituals and this rhythm benefit our family, and so I want to share a few tips for making your mundane more meaningful.

Rituals do not have to be impractical–make them work for your family.

Here’s the most important thing about building rituals into your weekly routine: they should work for you and your family. Don’t let them become “extra” things on your to-do list. Let your rituals accomplish things that need to be done anyway. Mealtimes are easy places to build in rituals because your family has to eat. Making rituals out of walks/hikes/bike rides gives everyone a chance to exercise. Get creative and have fun, but keep it practical.

Rhythm does not have to be rigid–build in flexibility for your family.

Next most important thing about creating a family rhythm: make sure to leave room for flexibility. There is no way you can keep up the same rhythm all the time. It’s not possible and so in no way should it be the goal. You will be too tired to make that Saturday morning’s batch of biscuits, and that is OK. The weather will not cooperate with every nature walk, and yet you won’t get too out of sync. Rigidity will not serve your family, so make sure to set flexible expectations for your rhythm.

Your rituals and rhythms do not have to stay within your own walls–find ways to bring in others.

Once you get into a groove with your rituals and rhythm, look for places to include community. I’d encourage you to think about this as a way to both enrich your family’s rhythm and allow your family’s rhythm to serve others. Including friends in your rituals can add another layer of depth to your family’s rhythm. You could invite neighbors to join your Friday night pizza or Sunday afternoon hike every once in a while (if you can do so while observing COVID safety measures). Including rituals that serve those in need allows the benefits of your rhythm to extend beyond your home. You could double the recipe you’re making for Taco Tuesday and share it with a friend who is swamped, or sign up your family for a charitable 5K walk. 

If you already have a family ritual, or plan to start one, or have more ideas on how to make the mundane more meaningful, please share! We’d love to read about it in the comments section.

Beth Chikobe is mom to two boys, one by adoption and one by birth. She works full-time with IDinsight, a non-profit organization fighting global poverty with data and evidence. She is obsessed with all things food and has a beloved cookbook collection as well as a favorite spatula.

When not eating, cooking, or reading about food, she might be elbows deep in a DIY home project with her husband or on a walk to the park with the boys.