When I think about this season of parenting in a pandemic, joy is honestly not the first thing that comes to mind. To be honest, I think of suffering. Not just because we’re in a global pandemic, but because it has felt like every area of life in our family has gone through suffering as of late. It has been easy to complain in these days. Easy to ask God why, or to feel like there is little to be joyful about (which I know is absolutely not true, but often feels true when you’re treading water).

Between Harper’s difficult feedings, sickness upon sickness, and more, we have been left with more questions than answers. It’s been difficult to point to one major thing (besides the Lord) and say–this–this brings me joy, when much of life feels hard. So I’ve been reading Habakkuk, which has been helpful.

He too, was in a season of crying out to God. Israel was stuck in cycles of sin and depravity and Habakkuk the prophet cried out to the Lord for help. God’s answer was not the answer he wanted–it was anything but. God’s answer was deliverance through a pagan nation taking Israel into captivity–the worst possible answer to Habakkuk. But in his distress, he recalled the Lord’s faithfulness, and his complaint became confession, his protests turned into praise.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 says,

“Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

In the worst of situations, Habakkuk chose to praise the Lord, not because His circumstances changed, but because He trusted and believed in His God. So lately in this season, I have found myself taking things day by day and finding joy in the littlest of things. Seeing the Lord’s goodness in each tiny moment and praising Him amidst the pain.

Here are a few of things I have found joy in lately:

• a hot cup of coffee first thing in the morning
• hints of warmer weather telling us that Spring is coming
• when Baby girl sleeps until 7am and I get some undisturbed time with the Lord
• getting outside with my boys and seeing their joy despite the cold
• a yummy meal that I didn’t have to cook 🙂
• when Graham grabs my face and gives me a handful of kisses just because
• Aiden breaking into dance while watching a show
• Harper’s big smiles when I lean in for a kiss
• a board game that Aiden and I have been able to play together
• pretty much any kind of dessert
• Sabbath days as a family
• the way my boys clamor for who gets to pray at meals now– something I have prayed for for at least a year
• a clean house at the end of our weekly cleaning day
• watching the 20th reunion Harry Potter special with Matt
• seeing friends that we haven’t seen in a while
• connecting with mamas through More for Motherhood
• hearing Words from the Lord amidst our suffering
• my housemates from college and the ways we are still there for one another
• Matt intentionally trying to crack me up any chance he gets

These are just a few of the small moments that have brought me joy while parenting in a pandemic lately.

If you too, are in a season of suffering, I want to first encourage you that you are not alone. Second, rather than wishing away the current season for easier days, try looking for small things to celebrate in your day to day. And when you feel the urge to complain, remember Philippians 2:14-15a, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God…” Instead of grumbling against the Lord, lift up a lament to Him, and then praise Him for his faithfulness amidst your suffering. Lastly, consider making a gratitude or “little joys” list like the one above. It really does feel much more difficult to complain when we remind ourselves of all the ways that God has been good even this week.

Hebrews 12:7-11, “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

I believe that sharing in God’s holiness and experiencing a harvest of righteousness and peace is worth the suffering we will face in this life (and even while parenting in a pandemic). May we allow ourselves to be trained by it, and may we have eyes to see even the littlest of joys along the way.