Choosing Joy in the Chaos through Words on a Page

By Abby Anderson

I became a parent in the pandemic, so in a way, it’s all I know. The masks, the distancing, the protocols, the sickness, the fears, the worry, the constant wondering of- will it end soon? Choosing joy in the midst of the chaos and loneliness of pandemic parenting has been on the battlefield of my heart. In this season of life and motherhood, I have found joy in writing. Whether journaling prayers, writing poetry, or untangling my heart in an outpouring of words on a page. 

Most days I wake up with my son and dive into the chores of making breakfast, starting a load of laundry, and unloading the dishwasher, while my husband brews coffee and begins his work day upstairs. After the coffee is poured and my son is washed up, I like to sit and pull out my journal. Some days I barely open it before I’m interrupted, but other days I pray through whatever is on my heart, writing page after page. Then occasionally I find myself writing poetry to the cadence of my own thoughts. I love to wrestle with God through the messiness of my journaled prayers and somehow He always gently calls me back to His word. Whether through recalling songs, revealing truths in my bible, or reminding me of verses I memorized long ago. I think this is the Spirit’s way of reshaping my forgetful heart. As He reminds me, I speak the truth over myself. And if I’m brave enough, I share it with others, knowing that even in the lies of loneliness and worry, I am not the only one feeling this way or going through this same season. 

So often I forget the truth that God has created me to glorify Him, to praise Him, to rejoice in Him, to love like Him, to reflect Him, to live for Him. And I sink into the lies that are rooted in a false identity. A false sense of who I am and who I am made to be. Writing these thoughts down shows me just how much I need Jesus to remind me of who I am.  When we seek God, whether in the unformed prayers scribbled on pages or a well planned quiet time, He is faithful to remind us and redeem our hearts from the lies we have been believing. 

So mamas, speak the truth of the gospel to yourself, then encourage someone else with it too. In doing so, you will recognize not only the joy God has given you in today, but also the truth that you are His child who He has redeemed to glorify Him everyday in your mothering. 

About Abby: Abby lives in Chesapeake, Virginia with her husband and 20 month old son. She recently transitioned into being a stay at home mom in the summer of 2021 after being an elementary teacher and is loving it! Abby loves to write poetry, bake, drink coffee, go thrift shopping, and spend time outside with friends and family. More recently she has been sharing some poetry and encouragement on her instagram page @poetry.by.abby and supporting her husband’s dreams of creating a coffee roasting business.