I don’t know about you but remaining in Jesus has looked quite differently for me since becoming a mama. In talking with his disciples, Jesus said in John 15:4-5, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
I have always believed that a key part of remaining in Jesus was to spend time with Him. To be close to Him, to rest in His love, to follow His commands. A few verses later in the chapter Jesus says in 15:10-11, “ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” He invites us to keep His commands that our joy may be complete, and we learn His commands by spending time with Him in His word.
I grew up spending daily quiet time with the Lord as a young girl, and the practice only grew as I got older and went to college. There, I was encouraged to spend 1 hour each day with Jesus in the Word and in prayer, and it even further transformed my life and my relationship with Him.
But as I have become a mama, I have noticed that the regular spiritual rhythms I had become accustomed to no longer seemed feasible. I began to wonder, how is a mama supposed to remain in Jesus when she doesn’t get a full night’s sleep, and can’t wake before her babies to spend time with the Lord? How is a mama supposed to remain in Jesus when she can no longer pay attention in church as she tries to keep her 5 month old from distracting everyone while the pastor teaches?
I found myself frustrated and tired. My sleep deprived brain didn’t feel like it could put prayers together. The Words of Scripture no longer felt like they jumped off the page at me. I found myself wishing I could have communion with the rest of the congregation rather than nursing my baby alone in a mother’s only room.
I’ve been a mama for almost 4 years now and it’s taken me quite some time to realize that these realities of motherhood don’t mean that Jesus is farther away. It doesn’t mean that Jesus is disapproving of the extra sleep I need when my baby (or 3 year old!) wakes me 3 times in the night. He isn’t more present in the sanctuary than in the nursing room. He isn’t wondering why I can’t pray a more eloquent prayer or why my previous methods of Scripture study just aren’t working for me anymore.
Instead, these new (and honestly difficult) realities of motherhood, are an opportunity to rest in His love and grace. An opportunity to lean into Romans 8 where it says the Spirit prays on our behalf when we don’t know what to pray for. To lean into that gift of sleep when we can get it knowing that the Lord gives sleep to those He loves (Ps. 127). To realize that Jesus entered into the world in the grittiest way possible–through the labor of a woman, and that there in the nursing room lies Holiness. Jesus isn’t upset by our need for new spiritual rhythms as moms, He welcomes us with open arms, ready to begin a new thing.
So, if your old spiritual rhythms haven’t been working, it doesn’t mean it’s time to throw in the towel. I believe there is an invitation to try something new, to get creative and lean into grace.
Here are a few ideas for the mama seeking to remain in Christ:
- If you are being woken up regularly through the night by kids, let yourself sleep knowing that it is a gift (Ps. 127:2). And instead of forcing the morning quiet time, prioritize 20-30 mins at another point in the day to spend time in prayer and in the Word.
- If it feels like prayer is just hard, try something to make it easier–journal your prayers; use the P.R.A.Y. method to provide some direction; or simply set a 10 minute timer to sit silently with the Lord and let the Holy Spirit pray for you.
- If you are feeling aimless in your time in Scripture, try getting a devotional book that helps you dig in. I honestly kept waiting for myself to feel awake enough to Inductively study Scripture in my quiet times like I used to, and I just haven’t been able to. I finally got a devotional book that really digs deep into the Word (something I used a number of years ago and stopped doing). I am finding it to be a breath of fresh air.
- Use moments throughout your day even when your little ones are awake to remain in Jesus — pick a verse for the day and try breath prayer; listen to audio recordings of the Bible while you go about your day or swap worship music for that Sesame Street playlist your kids listen to.
- For every moment that you feel like you are missing out in Church or with community, recite to yourself Ps. 127:3, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” Every time you feel yourself getting frustrated or feeling lonely at the loss of regular Church rhythms as a mom, invite yourself to remember that those little ones are a blessing. It doesn’t take away from the frustration or loss, but it does invite you to a different mindset.
It’s okay that remaining in Jesus looks differently for you as a mom. It doesn’t mean you’re less holy, less close to God than you were before. Jesus is just as close in the exhaustion and the tired prayers, as he is when you’re feeling wide awake for that hour long quiet time. To remain in Jesus is not to rely upon yourself, or your “perfect” spiritual habits, but to know and experience His grace for you. Lean in. He is still speaking. Still close. And He is ready to meet you, mama, right where you are.
