5 Skills I want my Eldest Child to Learn Before Having a 3rd Baby

It’s true that I’m sure nothing can prepare us for what life with a third child will be like. A friend we know with three kids quoted comedian, Jim Gaffigan, who said that it’s sort of like you’re drowning and then someone throws you a baby. So my expectations have been set low. 😉

Regardless, I feel like life could certainly be made easier with three kids if I taught my eldest some key skills that would free mama from needing to assist with said skills, and enable my eldest to be a bit more independent with a newborn (and an almost 2 year old) in the house. So, here it is—

The 5 skills I want my eldest child to learn before we add a third baby to the family:

1. Potty completely independently– if you’ve ever potty trained a child, you know that there is a difference between them not having accidents, and them going to the bathroom entirely independently. The latter includes everything from turning on the bathroom light to getting undressed, using the potty, and getting re-dressed and then washing one’s hands. So much more than simply letting an adult know when they need to use the potty and staying dry until they do. So I want my almost 4 year old to go to the bathroom (even number 2), entirely without needing mama’s help.

2. Put on and take off shoes- I find that even with having two kids, it has been a game changer to be able to ask my three year old to find his shoes and put them on. Granted, sometimes he puts them on the wrong foot and we have to ask him to switch them but this has definitely hastened the time it takes us to step out the front door.

3. Dress independently- I had heard of some kids my son’s age getting dressed all by themselves and I wondered why I had never thought to teach my son this skill. Right now, I lay out his underwear and pants and hand him his shirt so that he’s able to put them on properly, so it’s my goal before baby is born to simply have him dress himself completely without help. Oh and if anyone has any tips for helping a three year old get a shirt off (especially tighter ones), I am all ears!

4. Get a Jacket and backpack on and off– it’s the little things right? But these skills of putting on and off a jacket and likewise with wearing a backpack will be so helpful when I am trying to get 3 kids out the door for our morning preschool drop off instead of just 2.

5. Sleep through the night in a toddler bed – this last one, the holy grail of independent activities for a preschooler in my book. All of a sudden when my son turned 26 months of age, he began to get scared at night. And my child who once slept soundly through the night for 3 straight years, did not do so for about 6 months in a row. I was nearly at the end of my sanity. But! With the help of an “okay to wake” clock, the sleep wave method from The Happy Sleeper, and lots of positive talks about a toddler bed (and let’s be honest, a lot of desperate prayers), we are now back to a full night’s sleep for the past month and a half. I wanted him to make the toddler bed transition before baby girl came (to lessen the amount of transition for him when she does arrive and also to free up that crib since she’ll need it), but I was hesitant to do so until he was once again sleeping through the night in his crib. Once we passed that hurdle, we moved on to the big boy bed and haven’t had any issues since. Of course, he’s not nighttime potty trained yet so on occasion, I get woken up and need to swap his sheets, but we are in so much better of a place than we were 2 months ago.

So those are the 5 skills we hope our son will learn before our third child arrives. We are also big believers in independent play (a skill I teach my children even as babies with “blanket time”) so this has been a staple in our family life for years. If it weren’t, I would definitely add it to the list (see this post– “An Introduction to Teaching Independent Play” here). We have been working hard to accomplish these 5 new skills since July (it’s been about 2 months now) and still have 2 months until baby girl arrives, so while some of these skills are fully learned and others are only halfway there, I’m hoping we can solidify these independent skills before then, making life with 3 just a little bit easier.

We are all about learning from other parents, so tell me, what other skills have been helpful for your older kids to know before you added babies to the family?