It happened last night and I couldn’t tell you why. You see, we had just gotten back from a 5-day vacation without kids and we were SO grateful for it. It was restful, fun, and the first time in 4 years that we had gotten away to rest. When we returned home, we were thrilled to see our boys, excited to be back in our usual routine, noticing small joys that had become bland, and soaking in the moments with them.
But after 2 days of being back, I was spent–in a slump, if you will. I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy with our first little girl, and chasing after two boys in the summer heat had gotten the best of me. It started to feel like my days were blurring into a familiar sameness. Not great sleep (due to just being uncomfortably pregnant) led to tired mornings and I tried to love my boys well amidst their bickering, needs, and just the overall exhaustion of keeping two tiny humans alive and well. I laid in bed crying thinking about how tired I was, how it felt like this season of parenting was unrelenting, and how little “work” or “reward” I had to show for it.
The next morning in my quiet time, I was reminded of 2 verses, and the first is this: Psalm 51:12-13, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.”
Aha. That was what I needed. A renewed joy in my salvation; a willing spirit to sustain me–then, and only then, could I do the work that God has invited me into. Raising disciples in my home–i.e. teaching transgressors His ways, so that they might turn to Him.
The second verse that I was struck by was Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
That too, felt like a missing piece for me. One that perhaps sometimes seems clear, and yet often becomes grey when the haze of tiredness sets over my mama eyes. What is my purpose in this season of life? What good works has God prepared in advance for me to do? Certainly to raise my children to know and love Jesus; to love and cultivate a relationship with my husband; but also, to sew seeds for the kingdom wherever I go. Seeds in Word and Deed when I’m at the grocery store, with my neighbors, when I’m chatting with a friend, or even just by myself.
I think that these 2 verses supply what we need most when the tired slump of motherhood settles in. I have heard a lot of talk about self-care recently. That if mama could only take time for herself, she would feel motivated, happy, thriving. And believe me, I am all for taking care of yourself. I have a morning routine where I wake up before my boys to spend time with Jesus. I regularly exercise, eat well, Sabbath on the weekends and even get 3 hours off every week where my husband watches the boys. I know that I cannot pour from an empty cup.
But after being on a kid-free vacation for 5 days and having all of these rhythms of rest in my regular daily life, I’m here to say that self-care alone is not the final answer. It is a piece of the equation but it will not solve your need for joy and purpose. Because friend, only Jesus can do that. Only He can supply the joy that we experience from our Savior; the willing heart that we need to be sustained; and the purpose or good works that He has prepared in advance for us to do. So by all means, rest. Take care of yourself. Get some me-time. But know that those things in and of themselves won’t be enough.
When was the last time you truly rejoiced in how Jesus brought you to life? When was the last time you thought about your purpose or the works God has prepared for you to do that didn’t just relate to paying the bills, feeding kids or keeping them safe, but involved seeking to live out the Great Commission? When you feel like you are in a slump that will not end, I want to suggest 3 things that you need most of all:
What Mama Needs Most When She’s in a Slump
- A reminder of the joy of your salvation – pray the same prayer that king David prayed in Psalm 51:12-13 and see how God restores your joy in Him. Experience how it sustains you through the tiring seasons of parenting.
- A renewed sense of Kingdom purpose – With Ephesians 2:10, Matthew 28:18-20 and Matthew 6:33 in mind, pray and ask the Lord to reveal to you opportunities to participate in His kingdom even as you love your kids.
- Take stock of your needs and make time to take care of yourself – I would suggest starting with a Sabbath day that is observed by all in your home. From there, think about how to fill your cup spiritually (regular time with Jesus, being a part of a Church community), emotionally (date nights with your spouse, some “me” time where you get a break from mom-ing) and physically (enough sleep, exercise and good food to sustain you).
The years of parenting little ones are tough. They call them the survival years for a reason. And some days, the best that we can do is just to survive. I’ve been in the season of raising littles for almost 4 years now, and believe me, some days have been just about getting by. But, let’s not allow the exhaustion of this season to rob us of our joy. When physical sleep, and rest and “me” time are no where to be found, your Savior longs to renew a reminder of your joy in Him. To speak a word of purpose over these long days and sometimes longer nights.
I pray that from one tired mama to another, these reminders bring a renewed sense of joy, peace and purpose to your day to day. What we need most of all is Jesus, and to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness–and every once in awhile, a good bubble bath. 😉
