You may be wondering if adding a third kid to the family is easier. I get asked that a lot and I think it’s a good question. I mean, by round three, there’s got to be some developed expertise in all things baby, right?
Welp, let me tell you how it went for me…
On the day Harper was born, my parents drove up early that morning to be with our boys so that Matt and I could go to the hospital. Baby girl was my longest wait for a baby and my easiest labor.
On the day we were supposed to bring Harper home from the hospital, I got a text from my mom–“Graham has hand foot and mouth disease. I just wanted to give you a heads up.” If you know anything about hand foot and mouth, you know how contagious it is. Aiden had already had it when he was younger, but poor Graham had scabs all over his fingers, toes and mouth. We nervously told the hospital pediatrician and she said to keep the kids apart as much as possible because the virus would be contagious for a month.
I’m so grateful for the heads up my parents gave us because it allowed us to quarantine Harper in our bedroom for that first month of her life. The boys didn’t get to touch her or interact with her and every time we went upstairs to hold her or feed her, we would change our clothes from head to toe. Not quite the homecoming or first month of life we were expecting.
During this time of keeping the kids apart, we realized Harper was having weight gain issues. I had prayed that she wouldn’t have a tongue tie and she ended up having the exact same tongue and lip ties as Graham. At two weeks old, she had her ties lasered, and we would spend the next 4 months struggling with feeding, reflux, and weight gain just like her brother.
Thankfully, that first month of quarantining came and passed–when we realized in her second month of life that our family had gotten covid. The Lord had protected Harper from hand foot and mouth, and there we were, sequestering in the bedroom again. It was back to changing our clothes every time we held or fed her and thankfully, the Lord protected her from covid as well.
As we entered the third month of Harper’s life, we realized that Matt’s lyme disease was getting worse. He had gotten bit by a deer tick on a student retreat back in August, and we thought we had caught it early with antibiotics. In December, his symptoms resurged and back on antibiotics he went, until this February when we realized he had 1 month left until his lymes was deemed chronic. The medicine wasn’t working. He was experiencing extreme brain fog, exhaustion and joint pain, and we realized we needed to do something drastic.
At the height of newborn life, most parents get by on fast food and quick meals (I know we were!), and we realized that in order for the medicine to work better, we would need to cut out every inflammatory food possible. Goodbye gluten, sugar, dairy, coffee, alcohol, etc. We went from eating frozen food from Trader Joes to needing to cook homemade, 100% from scratch meals, and to do so with 2 kids plus a newborn.
We also realized that Lyme disease inflames your organs but which organs it tends to inflame depend upon the person, and for Matt, it was his brain. The inflamed brain, we learned, is only reset by a night of uninterrupted sleep. Quite the joke for parents of a newborn who sleeps in your bedroom. So at 3 months old, we moved Harper out of our room into her own room, and at the same time, moved Aiden into Graham’s room in order to make space for her. I became the sole responder to the baby monitors which meant I was getting woken up between 2-8 times each night between all 3 kids.
As I think back upon these past 5 months, I know that while this season has been extremely difficult for us, we have seen the Lord provide in countless ways. We saw him protect Harper from hand foot and mouth as well as covid. We saw the Lord deliver me (not from, but) through the tongue ties I so feared. I heard the Lord tell me he would heal Harper’s feeding situation and I believe that He has. While we’re still wading through the difficulty that is Lyme Disease, we know that God is faithful and He will carry us every step of the way, even if that is through chronic illness.
I asked a mama friend one time, how it was that she managed life with 4 kids and she said, “You know, God gives you the grace that you need when you need it.”
We have found this to be true. In many ways gaining Harper has been just as hard or harder than gaining Graham at the start of the pandemic. But it’s also felt so different. We’ve received the grace we need and feel like our marriage has grown stronger, our love for the kids sweeter, and our need for the LORD a little more tangible.
So is having a third kid easier? I don’t know. But I do know that even with the past 5 months we’ve had, it is 100% worth it.
